Day 4: This will be a short blog
Ok so I dont know how many other people have major Squirrel Moment but I have many of them lol. If you dont know what a squirrel moment is watch the movie UP lol. Actually it basically is when you are talking or doing one thing and something distracts you and then you return to what you were doing lol.
I am currently talking to this girl name Abby on Skype, Typing this, Chatting on Skype,FB, and Twitter :) And I somehow am managing to keep things straight lol My mind is going a mile a minute right now lol I wanted to have this done before midnight but its not going to happen lol but thats ok
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
My Boys and there Mom
Day3:
Until 2 years ago I had no nephews then my brother got involved that Val who has Brady. I Love Brady soooo much he is now 5 years old and totally my Nephew :) then a yr ago J Cameron was born :) He is the light of my life :) they both are really lol I call them my boys cause I take care of them quite a lot.
Until about 3 months ago Val wasnt really working. She would start a job then quit it over something stupid and start a new one. She now has 2 jobs which is good but still wants to go out and party even though she has 2 kids. She takes a lot of things out on my brother which pisses me off. Josh and I dont have the best relationship but he still is family and I dont like it when someone messes with my Family. There has been many times that she will go MIA when I have the boys cause she wants to have her freedom. people think that they are my boys cause I am with them all the time. In fact people at church think J is mine lol when he isnt with me they ask me if he is with his dad instead of me lol I am like yes he is with my Brother lol
Today was an exsample of this stupidity that I have to deal with. My brother was watching the boys overnight so that Val could go out with friends but was supposed to be back by 10 so that he could get to work. At 11 my brother called me to see if I could come watch the boys cause he couldnt get a hold of Val and he need to get to work by noon so he had to leave by 11:30. I went over and he left. Val didnt show up till almost 1 smelling like alchol....J started to freak out when I tried to leave and wanted nothing to do with Val...He didnt even want his blanket when she tried to take him from me. eventually I got him seatled enough for me to leave. She called me little later so he could here my voice....This made me sad cause he should want Val but he wanted me instead. the whole time Brady was eating his PB&J sandwich lol
Ok That is enough for today lol
Until 2 years ago I had no nephews then my brother got involved that Val who has Brady. I Love Brady soooo much he is now 5 years old and totally my Nephew :) then a yr ago J Cameron was born :) He is the light of my life :) they both are really lol I call them my boys cause I take care of them quite a lot.
Until about 3 months ago Val wasnt really working. She would start a job then quit it over something stupid and start a new one. She now has 2 jobs which is good but still wants to go out and party even though she has 2 kids. She takes a lot of things out on my brother which pisses me off. Josh and I dont have the best relationship but he still is family and I dont like it when someone messes with my Family. There has been many times that she will go MIA when I have the boys cause she wants to have her freedom. people think that they are my boys cause I am with them all the time. In fact people at church think J is mine lol when he isnt with me they ask me if he is with his dad instead of me lol I am like yes he is with my Brother lol
Today was an exsample of this stupidity that I have to deal with. My brother was watching the boys overnight so that Val could go out with friends but was supposed to be back by 10 so that he could get to work. At 11 my brother called me to see if I could come watch the boys cause he couldnt get a hold of Val and he need to get to work by noon so he had to leave by 11:30. I went over and he left. Val didnt show up till almost 1 smelling like alchol....J started to freak out when I tried to leave and wanted nothing to do with Val...He didnt even want his blanket when she tried to take him from me. eventually I got him seatled enough for me to leave. She called me little later so he could here my voice....This made me sad cause he should want Val but he wanted me instead. the whole time Brady was eating his PB&J sandwich lol
Ok That is enough for today lol
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Heartbreak
Day 2 of blogging :
I guess something that is hard for me is that I have always been different them most of the people I grow up with. I was adopted at the age of 4months so I never knew my Birth parents. I love my adopted parents and they will always be my parents. But it made me different. My birth mom was part Cherokee Indian, Dutch and German. I dont know what percent of these I am. My birthfather was Mexican and left my mom as so as he found out she was pregnant with me. He was the first male to reject me without knowing me. I was born premature and was hospitized for 11days with pneumonia, and because of that I have a lot of breathing issues and lung problems. A few other things didnt develope properly either. I dont think my parents knew what they were getting into when they adopted me lol My Brother is adopted too by the way so if you ever see a pic of us there is no resumblements lol hes half vietumese lol. A few of my school friends were adopted to but the fit in with everything...I didnt. I was always up trees, getting dirty,and not being a little girl lol
When I was about 5 I thought this other boy was hurting my brother, who is 3 years older, but it turned out they were just being boys and wrestling in front of church lol I didnt believe him so I rolled Matt over and took a log anf hit him over the head...it took 16 stitches to close the wound on his forhead...After 26yrs he still has the scar but we were friends from the next day on lol. this wasnt the first fight I got into or the last. I am protective of my family. But because I was sort of on the rough side people stayed way from me :( My temper has gotten me into troubled many times.
I have been take advantage by people cause I try to please them so that they will like me more. It also part of why my relationships for the most part dont last. I feel like I need to please them and become controled by it. I would change myself for them. I was in not 1 but 2 abusive relationship that caused me not to trust guys.
The first one was really mentally abusive. It didnt start out that way. He was a very caring and loving guy. Once we were dating for awhile he told me that I was lucky that anyone would want to be with me cause I am not a model type but that he was dealing with it. When I would question him about things like if he was seeing other people he would call me paranode and that if I kept asking him he would leave me. I let it go. When we would go out he would spend more time flirting with other girls then paying attention to me. I later found him in bed with another girl and he blamed me for his cheating cause I gave him the idea...Later his friend told me that he had cheated on me atleast 9 time. I give Bryan point for the fact he was the one to tell me to go to Chads apartment that day...Chad told me that I would never find someone who would want me cause I was ugly and fat. That I was a pity Girlfriend so that I would have atleast one guy in my life...He was the one who later raped me at the party...
the second one was physically abusive...JT was a great guy until he was drinking which I found out the hard way. He could have a couple beers and be fine but if he started to drink more then the more abusive he got. He would start fights with other people for stupid things and cause they were all drinking no one would remember it later...except me. One time I tried to get inbetween him and his friend cause they were fighting. that was a mistake cause I end up being thrown across the room and him beating me up. Somehow all I ended up with just bruises and no broken bones. The next day JT asked me what happend to me. When I told him he did it he didnt believe me till another person told him I wasnt lieing. He was very sorry that he hurt me and that he didnt mean it. I let it go cause I shouldnt have gotten in the middle of them. It happened again but I got away so he never hit me. Again he was sorry that he tried to hurt me. From that moment on I wasnt around him if he was drinking. We were good for awhile and he respected me when I didnt go partying with him. One night I got a call from someone at a party that JT was at...He was trying to drive home very drunk and there wasnt anyone there who could drive either. I told them I didnt want to be near him when he was like that but that I would come get him. I knew it wouldnt end well but I didnt want him to drive drunk and hurt someone else in the process. He agreed to go with me which surprised me. He ended up passing out which made me happy cause it was an half an hour drive to his place. Trying to get him inside was another story. He was very anger that I woke him up that he slugged me so hard that I ended up with a black eye and I left him on the front lawn. I had told him that if he hit me again I would leave. The next day he called me and asked me what had happend that he woke up in his bed but his car wasnt there. Someone had told him I came and got him. He was wondering if I could come pick him up to get his car. I went to get him and showed him what he had done to me. He apoligized over and over but I was done....I think his family was really upset at him for losing me cause they never knew what happen except his sister.
For a long time I didnt date anyone or even put myself out there. But because both of these things happend to me I have helpped a lot of girls get out of abusive relationships safely and show them that they are beautiful woman and dont deserve to be abused by anyone. I true dont know how I got thru this because I never shared any of this with people till rescently. My family doesnt even know most of this cause I wanted to protect them from it. I just pushed it down and went on with life. I know now that I shouldnt have done that but at the time I thought it was easier to deal with.
Now as I put myself out there to be with someone it seems that I have some problems. I wish it was easier for me to trust guys and not get as hurt by them. I have faith that there is a guy out there for me and I may have already met him just wasnt ready for it. Most guys see my outside and dont take the time really get to know me for who I am and not what I look like. This frustrates me cause I didnt judge people by their covers but by what is inside. I get this feeling about people when I meet them and from that I decide if I trust them or not. I have learned to listen to this. I dont judge people until I meet them face to face. but that will be another blog lol
Sorry for the length of this lol I just started to write and this is what happens lol I am done for today I think
Turtle Love,
Leah
I guess something that is hard for me is that I have always been different them most of the people I grow up with. I was adopted at the age of 4months so I never knew my Birth parents. I love my adopted parents and they will always be my parents. But it made me different. My birth mom was part Cherokee Indian, Dutch and German. I dont know what percent of these I am. My birthfather was Mexican and left my mom as so as he found out she was pregnant with me. He was the first male to reject me without knowing me. I was born premature and was hospitized for 11days with pneumonia, and because of that I have a lot of breathing issues and lung problems. A few other things didnt develope properly either. I dont think my parents knew what they were getting into when they adopted me lol My Brother is adopted too by the way so if you ever see a pic of us there is no resumblements lol hes half vietumese lol. A few of my school friends were adopted to but the fit in with everything...I didnt. I was always up trees, getting dirty,and not being a little girl lol
When I was about 5 I thought this other boy was hurting my brother, who is 3 years older, but it turned out they were just being boys and wrestling in front of church lol I didnt believe him so I rolled Matt over and took a log anf hit him over the head...it took 16 stitches to close the wound on his forhead...After 26yrs he still has the scar but we were friends from the next day on lol. this wasnt the first fight I got into or the last. I am protective of my family. But because I was sort of on the rough side people stayed way from me :( My temper has gotten me into troubled many times.
I have been take advantage by people cause I try to please them so that they will like me more. It also part of why my relationships for the most part dont last. I feel like I need to please them and become controled by it. I would change myself for them. I was in not 1 but 2 abusive relationship that caused me not to trust guys.
The first one was really mentally abusive. It didnt start out that way. He was a very caring and loving guy. Once we were dating for awhile he told me that I was lucky that anyone would want to be with me cause I am not a model type but that he was dealing with it. When I would question him about things like if he was seeing other people he would call me paranode and that if I kept asking him he would leave me. I let it go. When we would go out he would spend more time flirting with other girls then paying attention to me. I later found him in bed with another girl and he blamed me for his cheating cause I gave him the idea...Later his friend told me that he had cheated on me atleast 9 time. I give Bryan point for the fact he was the one to tell me to go to Chads apartment that day...Chad told me that I would never find someone who would want me cause I was ugly and fat. That I was a pity Girlfriend so that I would have atleast one guy in my life...He was the one who later raped me at the party...
the second one was physically abusive...JT was a great guy until he was drinking which I found out the hard way. He could have a couple beers and be fine but if he started to drink more then the more abusive he got. He would start fights with other people for stupid things and cause they were all drinking no one would remember it later...except me. One time I tried to get inbetween him and his friend cause they were fighting. that was a mistake cause I end up being thrown across the room and him beating me up. Somehow all I ended up with just bruises and no broken bones. The next day JT asked me what happend to me. When I told him he did it he didnt believe me till another person told him I wasnt lieing. He was very sorry that he hurt me and that he didnt mean it. I let it go cause I shouldnt have gotten in the middle of them. It happened again but I got away so he never hit me. Again he was sorry that he tried to hurt me. From that moment on I wasnt around him if he was drinking. We were good for awhile and he respected me when I didnt go partying with him. One night I got a call from someone at a party that JT was at...He was trying to drive home very drunk and there wasnt anyone there who could drive either. I told them I didnt want to be near him when he was like that but that I would come get him. I knew it wouldnt end well but I didnt want him to drive drunk and hurt someone else in the process. He agreed to go with me which surprised me. He ended up passing out which made me happy cause it was an half an hour drive to his place. Trying to get him inside was another story. He was very anger that I woke him up that he slugged me so hard that I ended up with a black eye and I left him on the front lawn. I had told him that if he hit me again I would leave. The next day he called me and asked me what had happend that he woke up in his bed but his car wasnt there. Someone had told him I came and got him. He was wondering if I could come pick him up to get his car. I went to get him and showed him what he had done to me. He apoligized over and over but I was done....I think his family was really upset at him for losing me cause they never knew what happen except his sister.
For a long time I didnt date anyone or even put myself out there. But because both of these things happend to me I have helpped a lot of girls get out of abusive relationships safely and show them that they are beautiful woman and dont deserve to be abused by anyone. I true dont know how I got thru this because I never shared any of this with people till rescently. My family doesnt even know most of this cause I wanted to protect them from it. I just pushed it down and went on with life. I know now that I shouldnt have done that but at the time I thought it was easier to deal with.
Now as I put myself out there to be with someone it seems that I have some problems. I wish it was easier for me to trust guys and not get as hurt by them. I have faith that there is a guy out there for me and I may have already met him just wasnt ready for it. Most guys see my outside and dont take the time really get to know me for who I am and not what I look like. This frustrates me cause I didnt judge people by their covers but by what is inside. I get this feeling about people when I meet them and from that I decide if I trust them or not. I have learned to listen to this. I dont judge people until I meet them face to face. but that will be another blog lol
Sorry for the length of this lol I just started to write and this is what happens lol I am done for today I think
Turtle Love,
Leah
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
The Begining
Ok here I go :) I am not a great speller or good at sentence structures so forgive me lol I have Lots of ADD moments so my train of thoughts are sort of rambling lol Ask me questions at anytime and I will try to answer them.
Hi for those who dont know me my name is Leah Yoder and I am currently 31yrs old. I have lived in Grand Rapids, MI for the majority of my life. I have a non cancerous Brain Tumor that hasnt stopped me from living :)
When I was 8 my dad decided to up root my family ( mom, brother, & I) and be a missonary in Indonesia. At the time I hated the idea of being away from all my friends but didnt have a choice lol. After I got there I really loved it and didnt really want to leave lol We were gone of a year. in that time we were in the Philiapians, Singapore, Amsterdam, Switzerland, Germany and a few others for very short times. Its gave me a new outlook on how lucky I really am. Saw lots of poverty and other things that a girl of 8 should see. When I got back I was changed for the better.
My dad has worked with physically and mentally challenge kids my whole life so I think that is why I have so much compations and patience for others. And am thankful for that. Dont get me wrong I have moment where I just cant stand some one and there stupidity but I try to find the best in everyone :) I am human lol
I have been thru so much that I dont know where to start with all....Yes I told you a little already lol
One thing you need to know about me is that I have been raped 3 times and have come out stronger each time. I was early young the first time....I thought it was a game and didnt know that it wasnt right. The second time I was 19and staying over at a friends house and her boyfriend was drunk and High. I remember waking up to him tieing me to the bed and then raping me as I was screaming at him to get off. His cousin tackled him and my friend called the cops...I made a deal with him that he get sober and clean and I wouldnt press charges but that there was a case filed. the last time I was 22 and was an ex who wanted to "talk" when I ran into him at a party. It was my mistake to go into the bedroom alone with him knowing our past...I would never want anyone to go thru it cause it can destroy anyone. I was in a deep depression and very quiet but realized I didnt want it to change or run my life so I moved on. I think that is part of why I let myself get to be so over weight so that I wasnt taken advantage of. Now I am trying to lose it cause I hate the way it is making me feel lol I dont care about what I look like cause if someone really wants to know what/who I truely am they take the time to get to know me for who I am not what I look like :)
Yes I am a very smily person and Really try to find the good in everyone. But I do have some major faults too. I need to let go of the past and also find a way to release some of the stress I have beside out bursts. I love to draw and be artistic :) Love photograghy and have my dads old 35mm camera that I love to use cause I cant see what I have capture until its developed lol :)
Ok that is all for now more later
Turtle Love <3
LeaH
Hi for those who dont know me my name is Leah Yoder and I am currently 31yrs old. I have lived in Grand Rapids, MI for the majority of my life. I have a non cancerous Brain Tumor that hasnt stopped me from living :)
When I was 8 my dad decided to up root my family ( mom, brother, & I) and be a missonary in Indonesia. At the time I hated the idea of being away from all my friends but didnt have a choice lol. After I got there I really loved it and didnt really want to leave lol We were gone of a year. in that time we were in the Philiapians, Singapore, Amsterdam, Switzerland, Germany and a few others for very short times. Its gave me a new outlook on how lucky I really am. Saw lots of poverty and other things that a girl of 8 should see. When I got back I was changed for the better.
My dad has worked with physically and mentally challenge kids my whole life so I think that is why I have so much compations and patience for others. And am thankful for that. Dont get me wrong I have moment where I just cant stand some one and there stupidity but I try to find the best in everyone :) I am human lol
I have been thru so much that I dont know where to start with all....Yes I told you a little already lol
One thing you need to know about me is that I have been raped 3 times and have come out stronger each time. I was early young the first time....I thought it was a game and didnt know that it wasnt right. The second time I was 19and staying over at a friends house and her boyfriend was drunk and High. I remember waking up to him tieing me to the bed and then raping me as I was screaming at him to get off. His cousin tackled him and my friend called the cops...I made a deal with him that he get sober and clean and I wouldnt press charges but that there was a case filed. the last time I was 22 and was an ex who wanted to "talk" when I ran into him at a party. It was my mistake to go into the bedroom alone with him knowing our past...I would never want anyone to go thru it cause it can destroy anyone. I was in a deep depression and very quiet but realized I didnt want it to change or run my life so I moved on. I think that is part of why I let myself get to be so over weight so that I wasnt taken advantage of. Now I am trying to lose it cause I hate the way it is making me feel lol I dont care about what I look like cause if someone really wants to know what/who I truely am they take the time to get to know me for who I am not what I look like :)
Yes I am a very smily person and Really try to find the good in everyone. But I do have some major faults too. I need to let go of the past and also find a way to release some of the stress I have beside out bursts. I love to draw and be artistic :) Love photograghy and have my dads old 35mm camera that I love to use cause I cant see what I have capture until its developed lol :)
Ok that is all for now more later
Turtle Love <3
LeaH
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