Sorry it posted the last one before I was done lol
Amanda pretty much pushed me upstairs to my room and asked if I wanted her there or to be left alone...no that I think about it I think the whole thing scared her and she wanted to leave but didnt want to hurt me. I told her she could stay. I had left my water downstair so she went to get it as I changed. I ended up goin back down for awhile and she pretty much was really quiet. she was the first one to go to bed too. the few that I knew in the lobby I told them I was ok and that it would be ok. I did tell a few of them what all happened but some I dont want them to know. I am surprise not more ppl have since asked me if I was ok cause there were closed to 100ppl who saw part of this whole thing. I guess when Chris got back Aaron was waiting for him and he wanted to know if I was ok...Chris told him I would be...now. I eventually went back to my room with Jen and Nikki. we talked i found out that Amanda was actually jealous of the attention Chris was giving me. the funny thing earlier in the weekend she hated Chris but he had grown on her thru out the weekend. I had asked her how she ended up with me and not Jen or Nikki she said that Chris asked her to get things for him and at the time I wasnt really caring cause I was scared. But I dont remember her there until after Chris started with me. she wasnt anywhere till he got there....I have a feeling that she needed to see this whole process cause she has massive doubts about a lot of it all.
Sunday I could feel the love of everyone that knew what had to happened when I got up and went into the lobby. the other Amanda found me sitting on the couch and came at me to give me a hug and told her I couldnt have ppl touch me at that moment that cause I was weak there was a good chance that stuff that would normally be transfer to me might cause of I was weak. I think I hurt her feelings but I couldnt take the chance that something else would affect me. Then I was scared that Aaron would talk to me cause he was scared to. When he came in he looked for me and I saw the relief when he saw me. After the evedince review I went to talk to him but he was bombed by ppl but Chris saw me and pulled me into a HUGE HUG and we talked like that for a couple mins. lol I think a few ppl were jealous cause we were close for awhile lol I did what I hate...I butted into a conversation with Aaron but I could feel he wanted me too lol. He grabbed me and gave me the biggest hug that he has ever has. He told me that he felt bad that he couldnt be with me at that moment I told him I understood that but I needed to tell him that it started when I was with him. and that even though he wasnt physicaly there I kept "seeing" him around me thats when He told me that until I go up to go to the other room he was there watching me from a far but when Chris went to get the chimes and candle he went back with him and couldnt come back in but I guess he stayed outside for part of the time. He told me to send a message later cause we keep getting an audience lol I went up to Billy and said that I heard it was he who went to get Dave and that I was thankful for that. He told me he was really worried that something bad was happening to me.That sort of surprised me but I could feel that he was being truthful He gave me a hug too. Dave was concerned too...Anyways, Chris & Billy now calls me by name lol
Because of this event I have changed s few things in my life for the best. I have kept my friends close and started to stop communicating with some others. Anyways I realize cause it posted the other i didnt get a chance to reread it and I hope I didnt say anything that would hurt anyone...
Turtle Love,
Leah
No comments:
Post a Comment